Jamies Story

 

I grew up in a non-Christian home with a lot of pain and brokenness. My parents fought a lot and eventually divorced when I  was around 9. They also had a bitter custody battle over my siblings and me, and the Court finally had us alternate between my parents on a weekly basis. 

I left my family when I was 15 and was homeless,  sleeping on my friends’ couches and other places. Then a wonderful mother figure took me into her home, and the whole family treated me as one of their own. I lived with them for a few years until I started my excessive drinking and partying.  

 

I began getting depressed and a bit suicidal by 17, drinking on school nights instead of doing homework. I was also struggling with my self-image,  and my substance abuse started. I met someone with whom I eventually started smoking meth. He was also physically abusive, but I didn’t leave him for a long time because I loved him so much. 

 

As the years went by, I ended up with no self-respect or self-worth, suffering massive panic attacks and ending up in the hospital. I was losing weight and even had a seizure one night, but was too scared to go to the hospital because I had smoked meth. 

 

I was a total mess, and then to make things worse I  began hearing voices. I was in and out of the hospital,  broken and desperate I tried to escape reality with meth and alcohol and attempted suicide, ending up in a coma.  

 

I became consumed by an irrational fear of being home alone at night. I would leave the house just before dark to sleep in my car under the cameras of a service station whenever my housemate wasn’t home. I was in so much pain crying alone every day, going nowhere. I  felt defeated, with no hope and no future. 

 

Slowly but surely, I started having the urge to go to a  Church. I knew no one who was a Christian and had never been to Church before. So, I Googled to find a Church near me and made my way there.  

 

We prayed the Lord’s prayer, I was given a Bible, and I left the place filled with unexplainable joy. Then I  had a dream about Jesus. I started experiencing miraculous healing in some of my struggles, although the voices in my head continued to traumatise me.  

 

They tortured me as I went on and off meth, trying to quit my habit for God, and I began to externalise my pain by beating myself across my face and head, screaming to get rid of the hurt and agony. I approached a Church seeking prayer for the voices and my meth addiction. The moment I said drugs, they referred me to Adult & Teen Challenge. My mind was made up as soon as I heard it was a Christian programme as I perceived it as my last chance to get rid of my addictions. 

 

It took me a while to level out and finally quit meth. The voices are less frequent, and I can sleep without it bothering me. I’m no longer self-harming or depressed and instead wake up most days content with the direction my life has taken.  I had always harboured the thought that there was something inherently wrong with me, but at Adult &  Teen Challenge, I am slowly discovering my beauty and worth in Christ.  

 

I still experience some dark moments, but they are getting fewer in this environment of love, security and acceptance. I am currently taking on more responsibilities with administration duties. 

I used to rely on drugs and alcohol to manage life and get through the day, but now I rely on God for strength,  sustenance and purpose. I give God all the praise, glory and honour for my survival and progress that has gotten me this far. He is a good God who rescues,  transforms and gives us an identity as a new creation in  Christ Jesus. Amen.