I grew up in a non-Christian home with a lot of pain and brokenness. My parents fought a lot and eventually divorced when I was around 9. They also had a bitter custody battle over my siblings and me, and the Court finally had us alternate between my parents on a weekly basis.
I left my family when I was 15 and was homeless, sleeping on my friends’ couches and other places. Then a wonderful mother figure took me into her home, and the whole family treated me as one of their own. I lived with them for a few years until I started my excessive drinking and partying.
I began getting depressed and a bit suicidal by 17, drinking on school nights instead of doing homework. I was also struggling with my self-image, and my substance abuse started. I met someone with whom I eventually started smoking meth. He was also physically abusive, but I didn’t leave him for a long time because I loved him so much.
As the years went by, I ended up with no self-respect or self-worth, suffering massive panic attacks and ending up in the hospital. I was losing weight and even had a seizure one night, but was too scared to go to the hospital because I had smoked meth.
I was a total mess, and then to make things worse I began hearing voices. I was in and out of the hospital, broken and desperate I tried to escape reality with meth and alcohol and attempted suicide, ending up in a coma.
I became consumed by an irrational fear of being home alone at night. I would leave the house just before dark to sleep in my car under the cameras of a service station whenever my housemate wasn’t home. I was in so much pain crying alone every day, going nowhere. I felt defeated, with no hope and no future.
Slowly but surely, I started having the urge to go to a Church. I knew no one who was a Christian and had never been to Church before. So, I Googled to find a Church near me and made my way there.
We prayed the Lord’s prayer, I was given a Bible, and I left the place filled with unexplainable joy. Then I had a dream about Jesus. I started experiencing miraculous healing in some of my struggles, although the voices in my head continued to traumatise me.